KNUST Sex Tape: If you were my baby Sister

Marain Toure, Media & Communications Specialist

I have steered clear of a lot of controversial issues and goings on in this country since I took a break from my career in media, but this one cannot remain on the back burner; it has to move center stage. I had heard a lot of media commentary on this the whole day but had decided not to give it a thought until a really good friend in high social circles in this country whatsapped it to me late evening with the message: ‘Have you seen this? From Tech?’

Then I mustered the courage to watch it—to the end … and then the second time.

My first reaction was anger and then a sense of shame … then pity for the young lady.

I find it particularly distasteful, despicable and an act of cowardice that a grown male, who has his faculties about him, will seek the consent of a female adult, engage in what seems to me a mutually enjoyable sexual act, only for him, to share it for mass consumption.

I find that it will take a man … who has low self-esteem … to think … that parading a woman’s nudity will boost his ego and self-worth.

What two consenting adults decide to do, in private, behind closed doors—tapped or otherwise—should be allowed to remain there. In essence, what happens in Vegas … Stay in Vegas! Period! Whether one has a vendetta or not!

For the young lady involved, if you were my kid sister I’ll let you know that ‘shoulda’, ‘woulda’, ‘coulda’ are indeed the best words of a fool.

Look at it this way; you have already committed the act; so saying you shouldn’t have done it in the first place, or consented to tape it, will be in my opinion, the best words of a fool. It’s done! You’ve crossed that hurdle! You’ll never get that moment back to make a new decision, so let’s move on from there. The die is cast. Now… how can we move on from your newfound ‘celebrity status’?

Mummy and Daddy must be ashamed of you by now! And rightly so! Perhaps they are Church leaders, responsible members of society, whom to the best of their knowledge have brought you up right. Your friends may be ashamed to be linked to you right now because they don’t want to be tagged as ‘porn stars’. The true friends will stick by you but they may do that in private for fear of what ‘amanfuor’ will say. Hey, their parents and family may even warn them to keep their distance.

I … on the other hand, I’m livid! That you’ll let yourself go this far!?! No matter what, though I’m your elder sister and I’ll stand by you through thick and thin.

Now… Let me tell you what I think you need to hear.

You are beautiful by all standards. You are intelligent, though that decision you made was unwise. I won’t judge you because I have been your age before and I know too well what happens during those years of your life. I forgive you for bringing me into this. You, on the other hand, need to forgive yourself too. What you shared with that boy, to the best of your knowledge was a moment of passion you would recount in your memory over and over and over again… with mixed emotions.

Do you remember Tiffany—Itz Tiffany? Another beautiful girl. She is one of our Ghanaian celebrities—she was known far and wide before her incident. Her former husband leaked their sex tape and it was news for a while, but it soon died. It passed. It’s old news now. Until yours came up, we had forgotten Tiffany’s. So I want you to know that this too shall pass.

Thing is, you’ll fall every now and then. Never wish for a smooth ride, just learn to rise up in style when you fall. But how do you rise up in style when you fall if you don’t fall?

It’s tough I know! But you have me. Take a break from school if you need to. Clear your head. Cry if you must—it’s good for the soul. Lock yourself up in the room for a few days if you want to, then come back and start over. Remember not to brood over it too long. Don’t let life pass you by. Life gives us all a lot of opportunities to do over. And this is not the end of the world. You are young and you are beautiful too. It’s not going to be easy I assure you, but I am here for you … and I love you.